my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
