To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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