they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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