Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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