Already got asked if we're dating
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
did you just send me my own nude
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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