and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize