i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
