I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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