Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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