the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
We have started to decorate penises.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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