I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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