She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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