I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
NoShamevember. You game?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
FUCK WHALES
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
