Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
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