that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
