I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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