I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
