Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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