Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
