He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
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