i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
