There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
