I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
