the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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