My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
