so explain again why im purple
no
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
