somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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