Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
