counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
