he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
