You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
