Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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