WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
