so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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