Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.