hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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