Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
You left your phone here
Wait...
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