I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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