oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
