i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
