he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Randomize
