If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
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I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
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He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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