She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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