My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize