I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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