Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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