Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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