I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize