I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I party with great urgency now.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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