dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
