"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I just saw a hot homeless man
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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