I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
