We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
