Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
The beer is more important than you right now.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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