Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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