i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
