Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
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