My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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