hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
