I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
